Tech support

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Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?


Signed,
Desperate

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Dear Desperate：

First keep in mind, that Boyfriend 5.0 was an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command “http:\\I Thought Youloved Me.html” and try to download Tears 6.2. and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Jewellery 2.5 and Flowers 5.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download SnoringLoudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background, that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. It could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to run the program: Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the Operating System.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to enhance his system performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Single Malt Scotch 4.5 combined with such applications as that old standby...Lingerie 6.9 (which has been credited with improved performance of his hardware).

Good Luck,
Tech Support